Monthly Archives: September 2011
It has been a month of weddings for me. I attend one every week. I have observed how my boys are picking their wives now. It isn’t about beauty anymore. Conversations have been about how great the women are and not how beautiful they are. I am not a fan of weddings because I prefer a simple yet magnificent traditional marriage ceremony with a pastor present to bless it as it’s done in the church. Anyways that is me.
Guys, have you ever dated a girl you were crazy about but wished you could change that one little thing about her? What was it? Have you kicked yourself afterwards because you and your honey shared almost everything in common, yet you still broke up? So what do you really need to look for in a woman in order to build a successful marriage when ‘Miss Right’ comes along? And what does a lady need to be a ‘Miss Right’ in this computer world? I see myself talking to both sexes now. Do I change the title of the article then? Oh it doesn’t matter so let’s move on.
The faith of a lady is important to guys. You ask a million ladies what they want in their ideal man and most of them will talk about a God fearing person. The same goes for the men though they don’t talk about it that much. Every guy wants a lady who knows her Creator, who believes in God and who will help his children follow the same steps. Whether the guy is a Christian or Muslim, he expects the lady to have faith in her Maker. A sense of self you might call it; a reason for living. It also includes beliefs about ethics, the importance of family, stability and, religion. For example, a purpose for life, optimism, an acceptance of others, integrity, honesty, responsibility and other similar social values. Guys don’t marry the “club girls.” They just “use” them and dump them when it’s time to settle down. Trust me, it’s the truth. Have faith. Stand for something so that you don’t fall for anything.
Physical and sexual compatibility mean different things to different people. For some, it means the physical act itself, perhaps something kinky and wild, while for others romance and intimacy play an important part. A few traits to keep in mind when looking for a missus might be her level of interest in sex, romance, foreplay, love, sexual variations and assertiveness, monogamy, communication, risk taking, playfulness, awareness of STDs and physical appearance. Every man will look for that sexual chemistry before he marries a lady. I have seen my father counsel a lot of people and he doesn’t mince words when it comes to sex. It is the engine of every marriage. Ladies, be attractive and that does not mean put on excessive make up and wear skimpy dresses. No. That turns men off because you look like a clown when you do that. Emphasis on excessive!
If you are talking about marriage, then there will be the topic of babies most often than not. It comes with it. Guys want to see if the ladies they want to marry will be good mothers. The way you treat your siblings or your neighbor’s wards will speak volumes to your guy. He wants to know that children love you and they want to come to you. Every guy wants a lady who can be strict when need be. One who can tell children or siblings to stop doing something that is wrong. One who can motivate siblings to do something positive when they don’t have the urge to do it. Simply demonstrate that you can be a good mother.
Every guy wants a woman who cares for her body: a woman who prepares healthy food for her family. One who would not be sick always or most of the time because she doesn’t care about her health. Health is wealth. If you are always sick, it means the finances of the family would be drained. Ladies, start taking good care of your body. Exercise, eat healthy food and avoid a lot of junk. Visit the doctor every now and then. It will amaze you to know that most ladies do not know the way to the gynecologist. It’s imperative that you see the gynecologist at least once a year. I can talk about health the whole day so let’s move on. We will visit this some other time.
Men want women who can serve their family, friends and neighbors with a gentle and loving spirit. A lady who is charitable in everything she does. We are in a generation where most ladies do not even know how to cook. Most men are fans of food. They love food and they love good food for that matter. Also, we are in a generation where service by women is frowned upon. If a woman is able to serve her family and friends or the guy’s family and friends when they are around, she is perfect marriage material. You win guys over when they are watching football and you bring them water or biscuits or food. Your boyfriend will be so proud of you and his friends will constantly tell him how awesome you are. Service is really vital.
The best wife seeks her husband’s approval before making big purchases and spends money wisely. She is careful to purchase quality items that her family needs and not any junk. I know most ladies will fight what I just said but it is very important. If you want to be the one that every guy would want to marry, take note. How a lady spends her money speaks volumes about her. We are in a generation where most ladies do not know the meaning of an investment. Every dime is spent on clothes, shoes and expensive weave-on. If the way you handle money is nothing to write home about then you are in big trouble because those little papers make a lot of difference to every man under the sun. I remember asking some ladies if they had EPACK or MFUND accounts and they had no knowledge about them yet they were looking for husbands. Some didn’t even have bank accounts and they are graduates. Money matters affect everyone. How a woman handles money can tell a lot about her and could make the difference between a comfortable life and an existence in poverty, so it’s important to be compatible in this area too. Pay attention to spending style, lifestyle, personal and professional goals, retirement plans, savings and ideas about money and debt in general.
Every guy wants a woman who works willingly with her hands. We are no more in the times of “housewives.” I know some guys still cherish that especially the rich ones but that is just an exception to the rule. Nothing that makes you better marriage material than having a job. Don’t be lazy. Find a decent job. If you are in school, make sure you give it your best. It’s important you become your own woman not someone who will depend on a guy for even sanitary pads at the end of the month. Be confident because confidence is sexy and study all the time. Ladies who learn how to make pastries, interior decor etc aside their careers are awesome. You can be one of them. I have been the “best man” for four weddings and I must confess I have seen a lot. Be an industrious lady and most men will fall at your feet but never let work overcome your duty to your home and family. Family comes first!
A lady who is perfect marriage material creates an inviting atmosphere of warmth and love for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her. She is sociable and people love her. That’s the kind of woman every gentleman wants to marry. That is inner beauty. Outer beauty is great but not all that important when it comes to marriage. It’s all about what you are going to live with for the rest of your life. How a woman thinks about the world she inhabits and how she interacts day to day are important signs of long-term mutual compatibility. Some women are casual observers of life while others thrive on being aggressive personalities. Most men want the lady who would make a home lively and fun. No added stress to that which comes with work.
If you want to avoid any neurological or/and cardiovascular disease, you go for what will give you the greatest peace of mind. These are just my opinions. Please let us hear about yours.
On the nationally observed Founders Day in honor of Dr. Kwame Nkrumah who helped Ghana gain independence, take a second to learn a little bit about the man and his mission. There are bits of wisdom you can take from a quick look at an amazing life.
I would like us to throw away any partisan sentiments and learn from the man whose handwriting is seen on all the state institutions in the country.
5. Sometimes things don’t always go as planned
Dr. Nkrumah was an excellent leader yet he had his shortcomings as a leader. Some people downplay the achievements of this man because of these shortcomings. No man is perfect. We all make mistakes. Dr. Nkrumah saw a broader picture of a United Africa. He went after that dream. He chased the vision but it could not be materialized. Sometimes things don’t go as planned but that doesn’t mean you should give up in life. We hit the wall most times. We fail in certain things that we do but we must still strive. True strength is being able to hold it together when everyone is expecting you to fall apart.
“We face neither East nor West. We face forward” – Dr. Kwame Nkrumah
4. Passion is paramount
Dr. Kwame Nkrumah believed in justice, equality, philanthropy and non-violent protest. He was a scholar and a revolutionary. He was a husband, a father, a friend and a leader. He was a brilliant orator. He had the passion to do whatever he wanted to do. With passion, you can do all that you dream of. One very important thing about life is passion or enthusiasm. Nelson Mandela once said “there is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” If you have the enthusiasm to do something, you can get that thing done. He had the passion to lead Ghana to independence. He went to jail for that. He was oppressed and yet never gave up. That’s the kind of spirit we need. The never-dying spirit that works in us because we have the passion to succeed regardless of what life throws at us.
“Revolutions are brought about by men, by men who think as men of action and act as men of thought.” – Dr. Kwame Nkrumah
3. You have to be ready to stand by your standards
What are your standards? What do you believe in? “Countrymen, the task ahead is great indeed, and heavy is the responsibility; and yet it is a noble and glorious challenge – a challenge which calls for the courage to dream, the courage to believe, the courage to dare, the courage to do, the courage to envision, the courage to fight, the courage to work, the courage to achieve – to achieve the highest excellencies and the fullest greatness of man. Dare we ask for more in life?” – Dr. Kwame Nkrumah. The founder of Ghana had his ideals. He stood for something. He believed in something. If you don’t have any standards in life, then it’s high time you checked yourself.
“The best way of learning to be an independent sovereign state is to be an independent sovereign state.”
Dr. Kwame Nkrumah
Dr. Kwame Nkrumah believed that each of us is special. Each of us is here for a purpose and that the main purpose for all of us is to make Africa and the world a better place. No matter what color you are, what religion you are, what you look like, what you sound like and no matter where you’re from you belong here. You have an assignment. You have a mission. You weren’t born by accident. There is a reason you are breathing today. There is a reason you are reading this post. Never look down on yourself. Be yourself because you are unique. Don’t try to be like someone else because no one will be you if you discard being yourself. Make your life on earth count!
“It is far better to be free to govern or misgovern yourself than to be governed by anybody else” – Dr. Kwame Nkrumah
1. Believe in yourself
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase” said Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe in your abilities to succeed in life? Just have faith in yourself, in your future and in your family. Dr. Nkrumah just believed. He believed that he could wrestle power for the people of the Gold Coast. He had a dream and he had the faith to propel that dream. He believed Ghana could be a sovereign state. He believed we could manage our own affairs. He cried for self governance because he believed we could govern ourselves. What was the outcome?
The dream became a reality! His belief gave birth to the following:
Bank of Ghana, Bonsa Tyre Manufacturing, Cape Coast University, Cocoa Marketing Board (now Cocobod), Cocoa research Institute, Tafo , Ghana Commercial Bank, Ghana Film Industries, Ghana Housing Corporation, Ghana Law School, Ghana Medical School, Gold Processing Factory, Prestea, Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology, National Cultural Center, National Investment Bank, National Research Council, Nsawam Prison, Komfo Anokye Hospital, Social Security Bank (SSB, now SG-SSB), State Transport Corporation, Trade Fair Center and the University of Ghana (Legon).
Once again the words of our great leader:
“We have the blessing of the wealth of our vast resources, the power of our talents and the potentialities of our people. Let us grasp now the opportunities before us and meet the challenge to our survival. “– Dr. Kwame Nkrumah
When I was told to be in Sunyani, I was so excited….excited because the city is one that makes me feel at home. I arrived early in the morning. One of the missions was to talk to some students at the Sunyani Polytechnic. Students who want to soar like the eagle …who want to make an impact in life and who want to make Mother Ghana proud. There is also a funeral I am to attend on Saturday to celebrate the life of a mother who has grown past 100 years. Something that is uncommon in these modern times. It’s so difficult to find the Methuselahs of this generation. Sin, eating habits, accidents to mention but a few make us leave the face of the earth so early lately. Enough of that! Sunyani is the city: the place where Kwabena, my brother from another mother was raised. When I told him I was going to his hometown, he was a little bit jealous. LOL… Anyways, the city has endeared me a lot. I therefore decided to write this post.
1. Women of NATURAL beauty!
It is very rare to see “artificial” women in this city. Yeah I have to say it. In Accra and Kumasi, I see women who paint their faces blue, pink, indigo, violet and even magenta all the time. I have visited this city like 7 times and it is so rare to see these colors on the faces of the women. It is all about the natural beauty. Do not be tempted to say that, they are colloquial. They are not…. They are simply beautiful and proud of their skin. I see a lot of people with natural hair and yes I love natural hair. One feature of the human body that is also in abundance and something that most young men love is the bum. You look at some of the ladies and you know why Castro and Asamoah Gyan went with the phrase… “Ghanaian women are sexy as cheese.” Erm…. Let me move on.
2. No trotros but taxi fares are super cheap.
There is one tradition in this city. You don’t see any Trotro. In Accra, the rich take Trotro and the super rich board taxis. I say this because the fares are gargantuan. When I am moving from Dansoman to Circle with a taxi, I pay ₵1.50. That’s the price when you take a ‘dropping’ in this city. The taxi drivers are also very friendly. Ok….. Ghanaians are generally hospitable but the people of Sunyani are more than hospitable. They tell you stories upon stories when you board their cars. It’s simply lovely.
3. The place is neat and not densely populated
As greenghanaian stated when she wrote about the state of the environment in Ghana, the number of people in Accra and Kumasi outnumbers the infrastructure or facilities in place. There is dirt everywhere because “we eat our shit” in this country as Greenghanaian would say. Sunyani is different. This place is just like Takoradi where rubbish is controlled. In Accra, you don’t even find a dustbin when you are walking through the streets of Osu and East Legon; the places that are noted for inhabiting the rich in the society. This place is neat and homely. There is no problem with accommodation as well. If you want a room to rent, you would never suffer like it happens in Accra and Kumasi.
4. The city is well segmented…. no floods.
Suburbs are named in an interesting way. They have Berlin Top, South Ridge, SSNIT Flat and Airport Residential Area. The city is nice and there is no problem when it rains. Accra floods anytime it rains. The Kwame Nkrumah Circle is a swimming pool when it pours. It’s horrible. All the banks you can think of in Ghana have branches in Sunyani. It isn’t a village if someone told you so. It’s a safe haven. A place where you can escape the armed robbery and murder attempts that we experience each day in the capital city.
5. There is NO TRAFFIC!
Don’t you just hate traffic? If you don’t, I do. I hate sitting in a car for 2 to 3 hours and the car will just move 1 kilometer. A trip from Dansoman or Korle Bu to Legon will take you close to 3 hours. The same trip can be made in less than 30 minutes on a Sunday when there is no traffic. Just think about it.
I have made an inquiry on a plot of land at Berlin Top. I encourage you to make a trip down here and do likewise if you cherish a place with a low cost of living. I don’t even want to talk about how peaceful and green the city is. There is an airport….awesome hospitals…. What more can you ask for? The city dey be kɛkɛ!
As soon as I woke up, I reached for my iPod. It was going to be a fun day and I wasn’t ready to compromise on that. Preparing a message to be delivered in the evening on the theme, the EAGLE in YOU was magnificent because the song I was listening to gave me all the ‘vim’ in the world. The word ‘vim’ will soon be copyrighted by my brother Ato. He can’t live a day without saying it. Hahahaha…. No more digressing…..
The majestic eagle…. with its powerful and graceful wings, can soar through the sky and cause traffic to stop on the side of a road for anything but modest picture. It is a symbol of power, strength, and thievery. Surprised? You’ll be interested to know that there are many things that you might not know about the eagle. I call this part one because I cannot say everything about this bird in one post. Yeah I learn a lot from a bird. I am weird and weird is good because it makes you a limited edition.
In the early twentieth century, it began to be noticed how less often the eagle was being spotted flying high above lakes and rivers. After numerous studies, it was discovered that there were just a few thousand left to cover the entire area of Canada, America and Mexico. That is not leaving much chance of spotting an eagle which does lead to why we are so fascinated when we see one. In 1967 the bald eagle as they are mostly called was placed on the endangered list. Now, it was protected. At that time there were about 500 mating pairs known to researchers. In just a few years in 1995 it was placed at threatened status. Then in 2007 it was removed from the endangered list. It was still protected but researchers could see huge results. From 500 mating pairs to about 5,000 in just a few decades…. That is progress. The eagle has proven itself to be resilient. They can live up to 30 years in the wild and they mate for life. They are dedicated to their mate. But if tragedy should strike, they know that they need to keep on so another mate is chosen without hesitation.
That says a lot about a bird. They are very resilient and hardly give up. You are full of potential but you have to do your part and start tapping into it. There is something placed within you by the Creator. There is something you need to accomplish. Somebody needs your touch. Somebody needs what you have. There is no limit to what you can do but you have to shake off complacency. You have to shake off certain things that put you back. You have to be resilient. Maybe you have tried to succeed in life but have hit a brick wall again and again. Somebody may have told you “no” a thousand times; ask again. Keep asking till you get the “yes” that you seek. Be resilient like the eagle. This bird does not give up. When there is disaster and their mate dies, they keep on. They move on. They don’t settle. They don’t get comfortable. You may have done wonders in the past but you have never seen anything yet. The best is yet to come. Strive on! Push hard! Don’t allow your life to become dull. Keep dreaming, hoping and planning for new projects and adventures. Wonderful things just don’t happen. They are made to happen.
The males and females pretty much look identical but the females get the upper-hand by being about 25% larger than their mates. I guess we don’t have to wonder who does the dishes in that household. When they go out on their own, they choose trees high up in the sky that can support a lot of weight. This is not because they eat a lot of fish, but because they like to make home roomy. They settle for the best. They go for the ultimate. They don’t believe in mediocrity. Every bird could get a room on the lowest of trees but will never be comfortable since human activities abound. Reach for the stars. That is where you are supposed to be. Get a support system. Iron sharpeneth iron. When you are down and have no one, encourage yourself. Find a role model. Find a mentor. If human activities or nature removes their tree, another one is chosen or they move a little bit higher. The nests can weigh as much as two tons (yes, I said “tons”) and be 9 feet wide. The depths of these nests with years of additions can get as high as 15 feet. Some have been documented to be even deeper. The higher you go, the higher must be your footing. You must be heavy. Heavy so that you will not be easily moved by circumstances…They never rest on their laurels. People may have tried to push you down.
Circumstances may have soured your outlook on life. You might hate your family, your country, and your friends because of the pains you have been through but do not be discouraged. Let the pains of the past give you the strength to move on. Don’t look back and get focused on your hurt and pains. Don’t look down and live in self-pity. That would make you complain all the time about how unfair the world is. The key to rising higher is to keep looking to where you want to go, who you want to be. Let no man take that zeal from you. Don’t focus on where you are today; keep a positive vision and see yourself accomplishing great things in life.
I will have to talk about the types, mating, feeding, eyes, beak to mention but a few on the eagle in subsequent posts. There are so many things about this bird that will speak to you. The attitude of this bird is worthy of emulation. So many of us get bitter and angry when a door closes but if you will keep the right attitude and press forward, other doors will open. Even if all the doors are closed, a window will surely open.